article by Jonathan Franklin

I laugh at the license plates with the state motto: LIVE FREE OR DIE. The plates are made by prisoners. Immediately I find the cheapest barber in town and shear off my curls, leaving only a Marine regulation flattop. Now Buchanan is the longhair. I buy a bronze Liberty Bell belt buckle the size of a baseball that shouts: AMERICA: LET FREEDOM RING IN. The silver-plated Winchester tie clip balances nicely with my conservative clothes. Carrying a copy of National Review, I set off for the campaign headquarters, where I spot an old Dodge Dart with the sticker I LOVE ASSAULT WEAPONS.

Illustration by Wilson McLean

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Reprinted from Playboy, April 1996 Copyright © 1996 Playboy Enterprises, Inc. No part of this article may be produced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means--electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise--without the written permission of the copyright owner.

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