I laugh at the license plates with the state motto: LIVE FREE OR DIE. The plates are made by prisoners. Immediately I find the cheapest barber in town and shear off my curls, leaving only a Marine regulation flattop. Now Buchanan is the longhair. I buy a bronze Liberty Bell belt buckle the size of a baseball that shouts: AMERICA: LET FREEDOM RING IN. The silver-plated Winchester tie clip balances nicely with my conservative clothes. Carrying a copy of National Review, I set off for the campaign headquarters, where I spot an old Dodge Dart with the sticker I LOVE ASSAULT WEAPONS.