See the Formal Version of the Disclaimer.
Wow! You actually came to this page. Our lawyers made us include it. At first, we thought the lawyers were a real pain. But then we read the page. What a Net-wakening! Itís really important stuff. We took the legalese the lawyers wrote and translated it into readable English. So be a smart Nethead and read the stuff on this page. It could prevent you from hearing from our lawyer, or worse yet, from really nasty people, like prosecutors. Hereís the deal: We run the Gateway 2000 site so that people like you (and people you like) can use it for personal entertainment, information, education, communication, and cybergratification. So go ahead and browse around all you like. You can even download stuff from the site but only for non-commercial, personal use. If you do, though, donít fool around with the copyright and other notices all over the stuff. Theyíre there for a really good reason. And donít even think about distributing, modifying, transmitting, reusing, re-posting, or anything else uncool with any of the stuff, including text, images, audio, and video, for public or commercial purposes unless we give you written permission. And itís not likely we will. If you visit our site, youíre also legally obligated to abide by [read: stuck with] the terms and conditions listed below and any other law or regulation that applies to the site, the Internet, and the World Wide Web, or South Dakota. You shouldnít access or browse the site if you have any problem with that, because once you start, thereís no turning back, you are bound by [read: stuck with] the terms and conditions.
So hereís the scoop on our Top Ten Rules for Cybersurfers who hang out on our site:
1. For everyoneís sake, just assume that everything on the site is copyrighted unless we say itís not. So you canít use the stuff except how we say you can on this page or anywhere else on the site without our written permission. And like we said before, itís not likely weíll give you permission anyway. In fact, even if we wanted to, the lawyers are likely to veto any deal anyway. So itís better you donít even ask.
2. While we try to include accurate stuff on the site, weíre not promising you itís accurate. In fact, weíre not promising you anything except fun and entertainment. So if you use stuff on the site, youíre using it at your own risk. Donít call us if thereís a problem because we assume no liability or responsibility for errors or omissions on the site.
3. We and anybody else who helped us create, produce, or deliver the site are not liable for any damages you suffer when you use it. In particular, the lawyers want you to know that our disclaimer includes " direct, incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your access to, or use of, the site. Without limiting the foregoing, everything on the site is provided to you ĎAS ISí WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMTIED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON-INFRINGEMENT. Please note that some jurisdictions may not allow the exclusion of implied warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not apply to you. Check your local laws for any restrictions or limitations regarding the exclusion of implied warranties." Ugh! What a mouthful from the mouthpieces. We put all of that in quotes because we couldnít figure out any other way to say it that the lawyers would accept. But hereís the bottom line: weíre not responsible if youíre browsing around and the site damages you or your computer or infects it with any nasty viruses. We sure hope that doesnít happen, but if it does, donít call us.
4. If you donít want the world to know something, donít post it on the site in any bulletin board or anyplace else. Thatís because anything you disclose to us is ours. Thatís right, ours. So we can do anything we want with the stuff you post. We can reproduce it, disclose it, transmit it, publish it, broadcast it, and post it someplace else. We can even send it to your mother (as soon as we find her address). Not only that, we can even use any ideas, concepts, know-how, or techniques you post any way we want to, including developing, manufacturing, and marketing products, or other stuff using the information you post.
5. Pictures of people or places shown on the site are either our property or someone elseís property weíre using with their permission. No matter what, itís definitely not your property. You or any of your Net-friends canít use it unless we said you can on this page or somewhere else on the site. So guess what, we wonít say yes. So be careful, because unauthorized use may violate all sorts of nasty laws. Be smart; keep the stuff you download to yourself.
6. Thereís also a lot of trademarks, logos, and service marks on the site, including ones like Gateway 2000, AnyKey, CrystalScan, black-and-white spot design, "G" logo, TelePath, and "You've got a friend in the business," that are registered trademarks, and Club Gateway, ColorBook, Destination, Gateway 2000 DuoLine, EZ Pad, EZ Point, Family PC, Field Mouse, Gateway Gold, GW2k, Kid's Backpack, Liberty, Gateway Solo and Spot Shop that either we own or weíre using with someone elseís permission. So donít think you have any kind of license or right to use them, because you donít and weíre not about to give you one. If you donít leave them alone and mess with the trademarks, logos, and service marks on our site, weíll probably go ballistic. So will the companies that own the other trademarks, logos, and service marks. That means that weíre likely to sue you or to ask a prosecutor to come after you for messing around with our property or the property of others.
7. Youíll probably notice weíve linked our site to a lot of others. While thatís cool, it doesnít mean weíve looked at all those sites, much less checked them out periodically to see whatís going on. So donít blame us if some site you link to is bad or has stuff on it that offends you or your pets. Go ahead and link, but remember, youíre doing it at your own risk.
8. That brings us to what you do on our own site. While we occasionally listen in on chat groups or look at all the postings in our discussion groups or on bulletin boards, we are not obligated to do so and we take no responsibility and assume no liability for the content of those locations or for any mistakes, defamation, libel, slander, omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography, or profanity you might encounter when you visit such places on our site. And donít be stupid by posting or transmitting any unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or any material that law enforcement types may consider a criminal offense, get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or for that matter violate any law anywhere, anytime. While we certainly respect your privacy, we have no choice but to fully cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or court that asks us who might have posted nasty stuff on our site.
9. Weíre allowed to change this page or anything else on the site any time we want to. Thatís because itís ours and we have the programmers who can do it. If we do change the page, then youíre bound by [read: stuck with] those changes, too, whenever you visit our site.
10. If this all sounds kind of mean and undiplomatic, you should have seen what the lawyers gave to us in the first place. We had to remind them that human torture and sacrifice was outlawed in the United States. Boy, did they look disappointed! Linking to Gateway 2000's Web Pages and Logo Information.