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ISSN 1198-9394

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Not the Hamster Show Creepmeister June Scudeler takes a look at the gothic presence on the net. She asks the musical question "Are you a goth?", and calls upon Britain's Sexbat to administer "The Goth Test Version 1.1" to our readers.

Music Spoo Frank Zappa, John Lennon and Timothy Leary were fans of the Monkees. And now Rhino records has plans to re-release all the original (9!) albums on CD, along with all episodes of the original TV series. Byron Moore launches our new music column with a look at this pop group which will not die.

We Now Pause For These Commercial Messages Don't Touch that Dial! "Matlock" will be RIGHT BACK! Everything we ever really needed to know about the lifestyles of commercial families is in 'Commercial Messages I and II'. Everything we ever wanted to know has been whittled down to 15 or 30 seconds per serving.

Vincent on Prozac If Prozac had existed back in Van Gogh's day, perhaps he would have been a little more careful with that safety razor. Jonathon Pon presents a previously unknown letter from Vincent van Gogh to his brother Theo.

Girth No Reason For Mirth Ever wonder what turns an alienated Gen Xer into just another guy with a horrible tax problem? According to Randy Shore, it starts in your pants.

Culture Vultures Innevitably, when a new medium enters a field dominated by an older one, something has to give. What will be the impact of on-line publications, like this one, on their ink and paper predecessors? Martin Chester adds the perspective of the admitted news junkie to the debate.

Single White Female We whine about how much dating in the Nineties sucks, as if dating in any other decade was pure bliss. Now Kim Barker says that we can blame it all on one person: our Kindergarten teacher.

Horrorscopes Wondering what the stars hold in store for Internet surfers who are lost in Hyperspace? Gayle, our resident astrologist, casts her runes and tells you where to go.

Best of the Net Here it is bad translation fans!! Best of the Net proudly brings you the legendary Taiwanese English text of "Tounge Of Frog". Reading the text of "Tounge Of Frog" aloud is one of the sacred rituals of the True Church of the Great Green Frog. We also have a few other amusing bits and bobs that will add a bit of buffoonery to your day.

simon says Every morning Simon Elliott Parker's wife uses their small tiled bathroom to make a peculiar new hi-tech compound. With feet firmly planted (and cemented) to the floor, Simon speculates on the properties of this mysterious substance...

Computer Operator From HellWhen things go a bit weird on your computer, there's one guy you definitely don't want at the other end of the help line. In this episode, the COFH (also known by his alias of BOFH, or Bastard Operator From Hell) continues his campaign to rid the world of lusers.

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Your Sexuality Education Store

Speaking of Sex Wondering if it's normal to place ads in local publications, offering to masturbate in front of willing women? Dr. Mark Schoen lends a hand with this and other questions on sexuality.

Dear Dick Brail on ATM machines; the infinite curvature of time and space; grammatical conundrums: Dick rolls up his sleeves, tighten's his belt a notch, and slips into his red velvet smoking jacket to answer this issue's thorny questions.

Get hip to what's happening!

Happenings are what's happening, and if you're hip, you'll want to know when something happening happens. Our very own Jane can tell you when the latest issue of the hip webzine hits the net-waves!

One of the perk's of using a real Web browser is that you get to use cool things like forms. And we here at hip want to encourage real browsers, so we've whipped together this cool (yet tasteful) way to tell Jane that you want to be kept up to date on hip Happenings.

Now if your browser doesn't support forms, do not despair: alternatives are available (Jane is very big on alternatives).
Jane@hip.com

Just send mail to Jane with the word hello in the message. Yes that's it, just "hello" with no quotes or anything. Jane will keep you abreast of what's happening, giving you the cue when the next issue of hip erupts into view.

Either way, if all goes well, not only will Jane take you home with her, but she'll send you confirmation of your "hip" status by Email. If Jane doesn't get back to you within a few hours, try her again: she's a popular gal with much on her mind!

ISSN 1198-9394