You won't find the

instruction "turn on the

computer" anywhere in

Computer Life, the new

"digital lifestyle" magazine

published by hip-to-be-square

Ziff-Davis. Why? In a fit of

"Just Say No" hysteria,

editor-in-chief John

Dickinson has banned the

phrase, according to Flux

friends inside Ziff. "He

thinks it's drug slang," one

source says, "and he doesn't

want any drug slang in the

magazine." But Dickinson's

Nancy Reagan-ish familiarity

with 60s-era drug lingo is

limited. When Ziff's

marketing force ordered t-

shirts to promote a

department in his new mag,

the crusading editor was,

oddly, silent. The slogan

printed on the shirts? "Get a

'Buzz' from Computer

Life."

According to a lightly

edited press release run by

New York Times reporter

Deirdre Carmody in her

October 17 "Magazine Notes"

column, high-profile magazine

art director Roger Black has

made a major discovery: Mosaic

and the Internet. Or is it

just a chance for a quick buck?

In his comments to the

Times, the shameless

Black managed simultaneously

to acknowledge that "We art

directors have only a dim

understanding of technology,"

and to announce the formation

of a new firm that will

advise clients on the design

of interactive technology

products. Hopefully, his advice

won't extend to the use of

Mosaic itself, a program he

has apparently never used.

"For a publication to appear

on the Internet without its

own typeface is like going on TV

naked," Black pontificated

to the Times. Call Flux

when you manage to impose a

Century Schoolbook headline

on your users, Roger.

Venture capital money flows

like water through Multimedia

Gulch these days, and

apparently some people can't

resist the urge to divert the

stream in very personal

directions. One fast-growing

Gulch start-up, renowned for

its multimedia tools,

received a seven-figure VC

investment in late 1993; by

early this summer a healthy

percentage of it had,

mysteriously, disappeared

from the books. Fingers were

pointed at a senior manager

as the chief suspect, as

observers whispered "graft"

and "embezzlement," but the

suspect's partners did

nothing -- perhaps because

the bad publicity would scare

off other venture money. The

company's reputation has been

preserved, but at the expense

of morale among staff members

who exposed the scandal;

meanwhile, the alleged thief

has taken a prominent

position at another firm.

Don't let Bellcore's denial-

spewing flacks spin you wrong -

Flux is absolutely certain

that the US$1 billion research

laboratory, jointly owned by

the seven Baby Bells, is on

the selling block. After the

Wall Street Journal reported

that a sale was imminent, the

flacks issued a murky-yet-

carefully-worded public statement

that said, "It is Bellcore's

policy that it would disclose

any formal action by its seven

owners or senior management

affecting Bellcore's future."

The rest of the mainstream

press then scrambled without

success to get confirmation

from the usual suspects:

"industry observers," "sources

close to the research lab,"

and other non-experts. But the

source who told Flux the sale

is a "go" carries a bit more

weight - after all, he's a

member of the Bellcore board.

The Electronic Frontier

Foundation may know privacy,

but its attorneys need to

bone up on trademark law.

Publishing giant IDG recently

leaned on the cyber-rights

group, demanding that it

change the name of its

electronic Big Dummies

Guide to the Internet

because it infringed on IDG's

highly successful series of

trademarked "... for Dummies"

books. EFF backed down and

chose a new name: Net

Guide -- which is owned

by the authors of yet another

highly successful book

series. What's next for EFF?

The Ronald McDonald Guide

to the Internet?

By Ned Brainard

Have a tip for Flux? Send mail to: flux@hotwired.com.

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