We're Buddies With
Bill Gates
Bill's Smiling Mug
The Same Photo of Bill We Keep Over the 50GCAT Fireplace

But allow us to explain. You see, 50 Greatest Conspiracies of All Time--Online! was named a "Pick of the Week" by Bill's very own Microsoft Network. You know, that's the big new online service that got Bill in hot water with those scurrilous varmints at the U.S. Justice Department. For that matter, we were also recently named a Magellan 4-Star Site and we made the Point Communications Top 10 List. Heck, we were the October 13 (that's Friday the 13th) Cool Site of the Day and we were on .net Magazine's year-end list of the "100 Best Web Sites." Not bad when you consider there's millions of them.

Oh yeah. We also got a really nice review from Wired. It said that our site "fills a desperate need in this paranoid era," and that "50GCAT will make you laugh out loud."

But those other honorifics mean nothing compared to the Bill Gates Award (as we like to call it). They don't bring us any closer to Bill. And really, our whole raison d'etre (we bet Bill speaks French) is to get closer to Bill. And now that we won his award we feel, well, a certain intimacy. A warmth, if you will. Does it matter that we won this award last November, but Bill didn't get around to telling us about it until February? Does it mean anything that it wasn't even Bill who told us about it -- just some grunt who Bill, in the extreme largesse that characterizes his magnificent being, deigned to hire and employ?

No, none of that matters to us. Because Bill and us, we have what really counts: commitment. We know Bill cares about us. Why, just last weekend he invited us up to the house. Boy, it sure is a big one! We were pretty sure that guy in the helicopter wasn't talking to us, so we went ahead and let ourselves in. We're still here, as a matter of fact. We haven't seen Bill yet. He probably just can't find us, the place is so huge. But we're here all right. Writing this page on one of Bill's workstations that we're sure he wouldn't mind if we used. It'll probably be OK if we take a few RAM chips out of it, too. We could use an upgrade and, heck, it's not like with his dough he's really going to miss them. For that matter, he probably won't miss...

Uh oh... We'd better get going. That helicopter's hovering at the window again. Don't worry, Bill. We know there's got to be some kind of misunderstanding. When ya comin' home, anyway?

More good stuff about us!

And we're still just as cool as David Copperfield!

Welcome  New
We are here: conspire@webcom.com