Playboy Advisor FAQ

Is masturbation normal?
Masturbation is a normal function at all ages to relieve sexual tension or simply as nature's way of teaching eye-hand coordination. No accurate statistics are available, of course, but it's been estimated that 90 to 95 percent of all men and perhaps 85 percent or more of all women masturbate or have done so. There is no evidence that masturbation is dangerous to a normal and healthy person. As for frequency, that depends on the individual. For many men, daily--or twice daily--masturbation puts no real strain on the body, while others may feel far less need or desire. As long as you don't experience discomfort and your normal sexual functioning with a partner doesn't suffer, chances are your rate isn't excessive. If there is a danger to masturbation, it's that it tends to condition a man to ejaculate quickly, which can cause problems when he's with a woman and wants to prolong her pleasure. Otherwise, most taboos and fears about the subject simply aren't valid.
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Where's the best place to meet women?
According to one study, five places to meet the "right woman" are: a friend's home, evening class, work, a religious gathering and, lastly, a night spot. We feel the best way to meet women in bars is to go with a male friend; the companionship bolsters your confidence and you're more likely to meet women who go out in pairs. For years, we've also suggested readers pursue activities to increase their chances of meeting women with whom they'll have something in common. Athletic? Go to a gym, or enter a marathon. Literate? Go to a bookstore. Musical? Browse at the local CD emporium. Remember, there are plenty of women out there. You must believe you have something of value to offer the opposite sex. How you relate to your female friends is important; sometimes, friendship grows into something exciting. However, if shyness is a problem for you, there are self-help books and videos that can help. Counseling is also an option. You need to appear confident, act assertive and display a sense of humor. When you feel ready to take on a relationship, make changes in your life. Some possibilities: Take up an activity you've long wanted to pursue, buy a pet (walking dogs is a good way to meet women), be alert to opportunities in ordinary places (such as laundromats and supermarkets), join a group with interests similar to yours, get involved with volunteer work, spruce up your appearance (new hairstyle, new clothes or trips to the gym can make anyone feel better about himself), smile a lot and compliment others. Be comfortable talking about yourself and your interests, yet be a good listener as well. Good luck.
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How do you tell a female friend that you're interested in a romantic relationship?
Invite her to lunch--or better yet, dinner--and after dessert, try to explain your feelings to her. Don't get too heavy or move too quickly, but let her know that you feel a certain attraction for her. If you have a solid relationship, it most likely won't be jeopardized by your effort. A woman who can handle a compliment will be flattered, and she'll let you know frankly whether she views you only as a friend or as something more. You'll never know unless you try--or unless she's thinking the same thing and asks you to dinner first.
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What's the best way to mend a broken heart?
First, when you find yourself thinking about your ex, focus on what you disliked about him or her, as in: At least I don't have to deal with that anymore. Second, find a friend and have some fun--even if you don't really want to. Go to movies, ball games, concerts or plays. Try something you've always wanted to do but never quite got around to: sailing, scuba diving, windsurfing, a gourmet cooking class--whatever. Such diversions won't kill all your pain, but distractions help--and who knows who you'll meet when you step out of your daily routine and try something different? Third, have a few flings. Forget about finding Mr. or Ms. Right; for a couple of months, concentrate on amusing yourself with Mr. or Ms. Right Now. Banish from your mind all thoughts of anything heavy or serious. Just enjoy some close encounters of the intense but brief kind.
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