So many of you out there have such problems in your relationships with
others, most specifically in the dating area. (Most of the boys I
know
certainly do.) So let's spend a few paragraphs addressing the issue, shall
we?
Now boys, I'm going to give you a tip here today, and if you want to
go to heaven when you die, you'll
pay
attention. When you take a woman, girl, or whomever on a date, you need to follow a few
rules of dating protocol.
Most
important, the post-date phone call. This
applies even when you've had a fairly unremarkable time and is
especially
important if you've had an extremely
eventful time, if you know what I mean (and I think you do). You can
always
call and leave a message when you know she isn't home; she'll understand.
But
the call must be made.
You may be saying, but Allison, Why does the
boy have to make the call? What about the woman? Women can be just as
insensitive
as men, can't they? And yes, you are correct, but that's the very reason
you
need to use care in these situations. You know what they say about a woman
scorned, don't you? Besides, most women I know are intelligent enough to
make
the call without being told.
Dear Allison,
I am looking for
Alcoholics
Anonymous on the Web. Do you know where to find it?
Signed,
Anonymous
AA is allover the Web, it seems, and with
the drinking I
see these Internet folks doing, it's a damn good thing. You can find the Big
Book of
AA, online meetings, and unofficial AA pages
galore. If you don't like those, try the aptly named Web of Addictions.
Dear Allison,
What do you think
about erotic
film? Don't you think that is unmoral human being? Why some government
provided
the law for that stink film?
Signed, Hymicky
Well,
first off, let me answer with another question: What's up with your
grammar and
writing style? Were you not taught as a child the fundamentals of the English
language? What would a child
think
of such poor command of the language, from a seemingly grown-up person?
Now, erotic film and
erotic acting, on the
other
hand, are often considered art forms, protected by the First
Amendment of the US Constitution as types of free speech.
Dear Allison,
Is it considered
rude to bring
food from one eatery into another as long as you buy something from the
one to
which you brought the outside food? For example, I like to get my breakfast
muffins from Cafe A, but buy juice from and eat my breakfast at Cafe B.
Signed, DC
Is this the question that keeps you awake at
night? If it is, my friend, you do have a problem, which has nothing to do
with
your cafe of
choice. Have you asked the owners of the establishments your
question? Have
they ever asked you to leave? Looked at you rudely? Pointed at you and
laughed?
Thrown insults at
you? If
not, don't let it get to you.
Dear Allison,
I live in a small
apartment
building, and my roommate and I are quite vocal with our intimacy. I am
tempted
to ask my neighbors if they can hear us. Is there a tasteful way of doing
that?
Signed, Wondering
No, there isn't.
Dear Allison,
How did you make
that darling
wallpaper?
Signed, Pointless in Petersberg
Oh, I'm
so glad you like the wallpaper. How kind of you to mention it. Someday I
hope
all browsers will let their users see all the lovely wallpaper on the
Internet, but alas, until that day, you can count yourself among the lucky
ones.
You do it by simply manipulating your <body> tags and by not
using those
nasty Netscape-only tags. You can
find out
all about it here.
Dear Allison,
You sound
just like someone who
used to write a similar column here in the Triangle Area of North
Carolina, only
her name was Esther. Good to have you back.
Signed, Still searching
for wisdom in
NC
I've never been to the Triangle Area of North
Carolina
or any part of that state for that matter, and I don't know any Esthers.
But if
that's what you think, and it makes your day, what do I care?
Go answer the
questions Allison didn't.
Copyright © 1995 HotWired
Ventures LLC. All rights reserved.
