http://www.cucug.org/disclaim.html (Amiga Plus Extra No. 5/97, 05/1997)
DISCLAIMERS
For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living
or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly
required. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use
only as directed. Mr. Ali's and Mr. Gould's brains shown larger than actual
size. Requires one-year service agreement. No other warranty expressed or
implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May
be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Please insert volume Lazarus
in any drive. For recreational use only. Seat cushion is not an approved
flotation device. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If
condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts
inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Do not insert into ear
canal. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated
picture. Past performance should not be used to determine future growth.
Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking
seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. As seen on TV. One size fits all.
Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco
ingredients. Offer not valid. Not a birth-control device. Electronically
altered to fit time slot. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which
seem right for you. Rinse, lather, repeat. Not affiliated with the American
Red Cross. No more than two children in store at any one time. Edited for
television. Expletive deleted. Keep cool; process promptly. Press left
mouse button to reboot. Compensated product endorsement. Not responsible
for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from
any defect, error or failure to perform. Portions of the program not
affecting the outcome have been edited. At participating locations only.
Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. Required argument missing.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. line. Lost ticket pays maximum
rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Your actual weight
loss may not be as dramatic. Keep clear of swinging steel blades.
Recoverable alert. No toothpaste can cure cavities. Avoid contact with
skin. Not exactly as shown. No dealers. Sanitized for your protection. Sign
here without admitting guilt. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Slightly
higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not
eligible. Promptly refrigerate after opening. Intentional misuse by
deliberately concentrating and/or inhaling contents may be fatal. Beware of
dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
Sanitized for your protection. You must be present to win. No passes
accepted. Wait for disk activity to finish. No purchase necessary.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Not to be used as
an internal lubricant. Induce vomiting. Do not induce vomiting. Dramatic
re-enactment. Approved for veterans. Booths only for two or more. Some
equipment shown is optional. No Canadian coins. Shake well. Not recommended
for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly
prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. I'm not a dentist,
but I play one on TV. No anchovies. Read all disclaimers. Restaurant
package, not for resale. First pull up, then pull down. Call before
digging. Driver does not carry cash. Trademarks mentioned appear for
identification purposes only. Do not use if seal is broken. Objects in
mirror may be closer than they appear. No transfers issued until the bus
comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Savings shown
compared to AT&T's standard rates. Your mileage may vary. All pictures are
for illustration only. Discontinue use if rash develops. This supersedes
all previous notices.
Also see these important product warnings.
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